October 12th

Probably the best purchase I’ve made in my time here in Russia has got to be a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. To my mind, cigarettes and/or a lighter are easily the best learning tools for a student of Russian. Not a day goes by when I don't get asked for a cigarette or a light and about 50% of the time, the proffering of said cigarette or light will lead to some sort of rudimentary conversation. I wouldn’t suggest this in Pete or Moscow where people are annoyed by foreigners, but here in V-town, bumming a cigarette off an American student is something to tell your friends about, so all is forgiven. Soldati are easily the worst offenders and not a day goes by when I don’t see the soldiers from the National Guard barracks near my house asking for cigarettes or a light. Sure, they’re taking advantage of their status as soldiers to take advantage of their fellow citizens, but I’ve never seen anyone refuse them, that’d be unpatriotic. Anyways, the reason I brought this up was because today on the way back from school I was asked by two pathetic looking Privates (they were washing their commander’s personal vehicle- difference number one between U.S. Military and the Russkaya Armiya) for a cigarette and a light. I fished them out and lit both their cigarettes, in the process of this I exposed myself as a foreigner and the usual battery of questions began. Obviously I have far more interest in talking with soldiers here than regular people so I usually jump at the opportunity. We talked about me for awhile and I asked them about themselves. I asked what rank they were, Private or Private First Class (the only two lower enlisted ranks in the Russian Army to my knowledge) and they clamed up and looked distinctly terrified. Obviously they put two and two together and decided that an American student asking them about military matters definitely made me a spy. Knowing the form that discipline takes in the Russian Army (seriously, this isn’t conjecture on my part), these two soldiers were convinced that if their superiors found out they were telling an American about any military matters, no matter how trivial, they’d likely get roughed up. Me being a spy is a conclusion that about every Russian I’ve ever spent more than five minutes with has jumped to, joking or not, and it’s almost comical how Cold War that is. I’m not thrilled with the idea of getting arrested for military espionage so I beat a hasty retreat from these Joes (Ivans?) and called it a day.

I’ve decided that’s essentially a Voronezh Moment of the Day too so I’m going to skip out on that for this post.

P.S. The cigarettes I buy are called Soyuz Apollon. At first I thought it just meant the Union of Apollo (the literal translation) but I finally translated the back and found out that they are named after the “17 July 1975 docking of space ships from two great powers- Soviet ship Soyuz-19 and the American Apollo-18.” Odd/interesting, but “in honor of this legendary event, soon your favorite cigarettes Soyuz Apollon will have a new, anniversary look, preserving your mild taste. Greetings! Smoking is harmful to your health.”